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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

What I meant to say....

Setting the scene.
10:30am Fayth wakes up. Running into living room.
Fayth: "Mommy, wook."
Points to nose.
Me: "Aww....honey come here, you got boogies."
What I meant to say:
Me: "Holy F*CK Batman! *GAG* What the hell did you do kid, use your hair to blow your nose?!!?"

Monday, July 26, 2010

Mom of the Year

Here we goooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
I am finding some extraordiany, liberating freedom today. I am cutting the apron strings and going to say what I want and to all that don't like, a big fat f*ck off! This is MY blog, not yours!
One year ago today, I was in labor. Where the hell has the time gone? My sweet Abbi will be 1 at 4:22am on July 27th. I'm feeling like a total flop of a mom today. Why???? I STILL haven't finished and mailed her party invitations!!! Hello Mother of the Year!!! So, I sent a text to all invited, and we are turning the invitations into a "Thanks for sharing my first birthday" card with a cute fairy pic. Nice save?? Hell, I hope so. I'm notorius for waiting until the last min to do shit. That's when I'm at my best.
So, today I will be scrambling to get the tutu made, the bows made, the party favors made, the "thank you for sharing cards made", and finalizing the food list. I'm totally rocking the disorganized, my mom drinks too much vodka, but she's f*cking FAB with a glue gun stereotype. So screw me, I'm not perfect.
Anywho, I'm hauling my not-so-perfect ass to the nearest Hobby Lobby for more supplies, hope you peeps have a fab day!